Vanilla Twilight
by thevalaintstorm
Summary: When he falls asleep, he sees her.
1. Vanilla Twilight

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I do not own Doctor Who, even though I wish I did. Sadly, it belongs to the BBC. The song is Vanilla Twilight by Owl City.

_The stars lean down to kiss you_

_And I lie awake and miss you_

_Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere_

_'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly_

_But I'll miss your arms around me_

_I'd send a postcard to you, dear_

_'Cause I wish you were here_

"Doctor," Rory said. "You need some sleep. You look really tired."

The Time Lord looked at the nurse. Sure he was true, but he didn't want to sleep.

He would rather faint than be haunted by dreams of her. Her tear stained face, hair whipping in the wind. He would much rather stay up and talk about her to the TARDIS, who never protested; to think about how her hand would fit in his new new new hand, or if she would like his new new new hair.

But the nurse could tell the Time Lord hadn't slept in a while. Four weeks, twenty hours, seven minutes, and forty-eight seconds, but the Time Lord wouldn't say that out loud.

He heard her say it in his mind. Say he should sleep. Ever since she'd fallen, her voice was the voice in the back of his head that told him what to do.

The Doctor stood from his place under the counsel.

"Right you are Pond," he said. "After a few hours, we'll be off again. I was thinking a flea market in, oh, maybe the twenty-third century."

Rory let the Doctor ramble as the man walked down the corridor. After the Doctor had disappeared from view, Rory went to go find his fiancé. He wanted to know if she knew anything about the other mans aversion to sleep

_I'll watch the night turn light-blue_

_But it's not the same without you_

_Because it takes two to whisper quietly_

_The silence isn't so bad_

_'Til I look at my hands and feel sad_

_'Cause the space between my fingers_

_Are right where yours fit perfectly_

_And I'll find repose in new ways_

_Though I haven't slept in two days_

_'Cause cold nostalgia _

_Chills me to the bone_

Silently, the Doctor stepped into the room. Clothing was neatly put away, and make-up was placed neatly on the dresser. The pink and blue bed was made, and knick-knacks from their adventures were scattered through his bits and bobs of mechanical parts.

He pulled off his coat and bowtie, placing them carefully on a chair.

He sat gingerly on the bed, thinking of the whispered conversations he would have with her, when she was asleep, saying things he never dared to when she was awake.

Telling her about all of his past companions.

_You're different. _

How she had changed him. She had made him a better person.

_Special._

How he didn't know how she could burrow into his hearts so much, but he wouldn't have it anyway

_ My pink-and-yellow human. _

How she was impossible, and brilliant.

_My Rose. Bad Wolf._

And only at night, when he'd counted her breaths, did he say it.

_ I love you._

The Doctor pulled off his boots and laid them next to his old converse and her sneakers.

As he lay down, he missed the weight of her head on his chest as she slept. The way her hair would surround her head like a golden halo—which always reminded him of Bad Wolf—or how she would burrow into his side in the night and hold him tightly to keep him from leaving, even in her sleep. How she laced her hand with his, and kept him warm.

His body felt cold now. He felt like any moment he could lose all his senses and float away. She wasn't there to tether him down—not to take him back down when he got out of control—and keep him grounded.

_But drenched in Vanilla Twilight_

_I'll sit on the front porch all night_

_Waist-deep in thought because _

_When I think of you I don't feel so alone_

Closing his eyes, the Doctor could feel her breath on his neck, the way she radiated warmth, joy, love, and understanding—something so distinctly Rose—he wouldn't be able to find it anywhere else. How even thinking about her made his hearts beat a little bit faster – ok a lot, but he can lie to himself – and his hands get sweaty; Time Lord genetics didn't take falling in love to account.

Her smell still exists in this room, something vanilla, and Time, and distinctly her. It's engrained in her pillow even though he's been using it ever since she fell.

He can see her walking into the en suite to change and wash her face with the cleanser that sits by the sink unused. She would brush her teeth and peppermint would follow her as she would walk back into the room. She would get on the bed next to him and lean on him. He would carefully put his arm around her and read to her. Charles Dickens, Shakespeare, or Agatha Christi, it never mattered.

_I don't feel so alone_

_I don't feel so alone_

But know he's lying in the bed that's way too big for one man. In the room that has feminine touches he will never get rid of. Even with the pictures of Mickey or Jack on the walls, most are of them.

The Stuff of Legends.

The Oncoming Storm and the Bad Wolf.

_As many times as I blink_

_I'll think of you tonight_

_I'll think of you tonight_

He blinks away the sudden sting.

Closing his eyes again, the Doctor pictures her. Her face, her eyes.

He falls asleep slowly. He keeps waking up because he sees her and the meta crisis. Oh how he wishes that were him, her arms around him, her lips on his.

Eventually his eyes slide shut and stay. Deep down, he thinks the TARDIS is helping, feeding his unconscious mind happy times, like his tenth forms first Christmas dinner, lying on the apple grass in New New York, and meeting the Queen while fighting a werewolf, well, Lupine Wavelength Haemovariform.

_When violet eyes get brighter_

_And heavy wings grow lighter_

_I'll taste the sky and feel alive again_

The Doctor woke up and looked at the clock.

Six hours, he must really have needed to sleep.

Slowly he moves his body. Sitting up and putting his shoes back on before making the bed again.

He walks to the desk, most covered in his jiggery pokery, except for the small box. Taking a deep breath he opens it and looks solemnly at the content.

A picture of big ears and Rose dancing, a picture of him when he had spikey hair and Rose on Christmas, and, another smaller still box.

The Doctors hands tremble as he picks the box up. He doesn't open it, just tucks it into his breast pocket, right by his left heart.

He walks to the door and opens it, looking back once to make sure everything's in place, before walking out and closing the door behind him.  
As manically as he can muster, he bounces into the counsel room to find both the Ponds sitting in the jump seat.

"So," he says. "Flea market!"

_And I'll forget the world that I knew_

_But I swear I won't forget you_

_Oh, if my voice could reach back through the past_

_I'd whisper in you eat_

_Oh darling, I wish you were here_


	2. Marry Me

**A/N I do not own Doctor Who, BBC does. And this song is Marry Me by Train**

* * *

_Forever can never be long enough for me_

_To feel like I've had long enough with you_

_Forget the world now, we won't let them see_

_But there's one thing left to do_

* * *

The TARDIS landed with a shudder.

"Where are we Doctor?" Amy asked.

"We should be in London, 2325," he said as he walked towards the door. It swung open and as he stepped outside his hearts fell a little. "Or Cardiff."  
"Cardiff?" Rory asked. "Why Cardiff?"

"The TARDIS needs to fill up, and she might want me to talk to an old friend. Looks different."

"Well, can we still find shopping?" Amy asked.

Distractedly, the Doctor nodded. Jack would know he was here by now.

He feels a hand slip into his and almost thinks it's hers, but it's not as warm, and doesn't fit quite right.

Sighing, the Doctor allows himself to be pulled along by Amy.

* * *

_Not the the weight has lifted _

_Love has surely shifted in my way_

* * *

The Doctor picked up a paper and scanned it, looking at the date.

March 5th, 2010.

Five years since meeting her in linear time.

"Food, I need food," Amy said what feels like hours, but was only thirty minutes later. "Chips."

"No chips," the Doctor said quickly. Chips would make his hearts ache more. Chips were a no. "Let's go to that café. It looks new." New so no memories of her would surround the place. They would only float around his head.

* * *

_Marry me_

_Today and every day_

_Marry me_

_If I ever get the nerve to say hello in this cafe_

* * *

Amy gave him a look out of the corner of her eye but didn't protest.

Amy and Rory walked right behind the Doctor and almost ran into him when he stopped abruptly.

Not possible.

He had to be imagining her.

She couldn't be here all golden hair and shining eyes.

"Doctor? Are you OK?" Amy asked, walking to stand beside him and touch his arm.

He opened and closed his mouth but no sounds came out.

Her eyes looked a little sadder, and too old for her young face. Finally, he gets out four words. "Do you see her?"

Amy looked where he's staring and nodded. "Yeah, why?"

At her words the Doctors hearts stopped before he broke into a grin that could put his old self to test. "Oh, yes," he said. "Though remind me later to go change all of the dictionaries in the TARDIS."

Amy opened her mouth to ask why, but he was already walking into the café.

His hands were sweaty, and his hearts beat faster than he ever thought they could. He felt like he was eight again and was being led to the Untendered Schism, except he wasn't scared. Nervous, yes, but not scared. Excited, nervous, and bubbling with love.

He stopped next to the blond, and she looked at him with heavy eyes that looked like they'd held the weight of the world.

"Hello," he said.

* * *

_Say you will_

_Say you will_

* * *

"Hello," she said. She took in the mans appearance. It was odd to see someone who looked as old as she did, dressed like a grandfather. Though it did suit him.

His bow tie was straight and his hair floppy, but what made her almost fall over were his eyes. They were green, and held the weight of the universe. The same eyes, just a different face. "It's you," she whispered. A tear slipped down her cheek.

"Rose Tyler," he whispered, wiping the tear away before cupping her face. "You are completely impossible."

She grinned at him, and her face lit up. "Parallel worlds, already done it once. You can't get rid of me that easily."

He grinned back at her. It was different but completely the same.

Underneath his different exterior, everything was the same.

* * *

_Together can never be close enough for me_

_To feel like I am close enough to you_

_You wear white and I'll wear out the words I love you_

_And you're beautiful_

* * *

And than his lips touched hers. He'd waited years for this. Years to tell her, to hug her, kiss her. Forever wouldn't be long enough to spend with his Rose Tyler.

Her arms wrapped around his neck and his slid around her waist, pulling her close and reveling how their bodies fit perfectly even though he was so different.

But too soon, she pulled away, breathless.

"Rose Tyler," he said, smiling softly down at her. "I love you."

"Quite right too," she replied, eyes crinkling in laughter and her face glowing with love. "I love you too Doctor. In any and every body."

* * *

_Now that the wait is over_

_And love has finally showed her my way_

_Marry me _

_Today and every day_

_Marry me_

_If I ever get the nerve to say hello in this café_

* * *

The Doctor pulled out the small black velvet box.

"Rose Tyler," he said. "I have waited too long to do this. I should have done this in Cardiff with Charlie, or when we were dancing in the TARDIS after meeting Jack, after I lost my hand. I should have done it. I could have done it anywhere and it would have been perfect. But I didn't, and now I am."

He got down on one knee and looked at her, eyes big and filled with love and time and something that could never be put to words.

The whole café was watching the scene, but the pair was oblivious to anyone but themselves, having waited too long. Two-hundred years for one and seventy for the other.

"Rose Tyler, I want to spend forever with you.

* * *

_Say you will_

_Say you will_

* * *

"Will you marry me?"

She stared at him, eyes wide, mouth open. No words came out but she nodded.

"Is that yes?" he asked, mischief dancing in his eyes.

"Yes," she choked out. "Of course you daft man."

He stood up and slipped the simple silver ring with a blue stone onto her ring finger. She grabbed his lapels and kissed him. Kissed him like they should have kissed before. Like they'd never had the chance, but now always would.

* * *

_Promise me you'll always be_

_Happy by my side_

_I promise to sing to you_

_When all the music dies_

_And marry me_

_Today and everyday_

_Marry me_

_If I ever get the nerve to say hello in this café_

* * *

Clapping brought them out of their bubble. They both blushed as everyone in the café cheered.

Both of the Ponds stared at them with looks of total shock written on their faces.

The Doctor slipped his hand into Rose and it still felt right.

"Run," he whispered.

* * *

_Say you will_

_Say you will_

_Marry me_


End file.
